Career coaches and counselors, including me, have liabilities:
-- Pros are unlikely to understand you and your workplace as well as you do, so their counsel is too often off base, yet because you’re paying, you often follow their advice, figuring, “Well, he’s the expert.” Many pros claim to just facilitate your own thinking, but often, consciously or unconsciously, they push you toward their preferred solution.
-- Coaching and especially counseling can be disempowering, making you feel you need a crutch to solve your problems.
-- Of course, there’s the cost. Many career coaches charge $200 for a weekly half-hour session, and make you prepay for three months worth. That’s $2,500. And they usually expect you to keep seeing them for longer than three months.
Self-coaching has none of those liabilities. Plus, if self-coaching doesn’t solve your problem, you can always turn to a pro.
Here’s how to self-coach. Let’s say you’re contemplating changing careers:
1. Write what makes you unhappy about your current job.
2. Could those problems be fixed without changing careers? If so, how? Write your musings. For example, what could you change in your current job? Or, what if you stayed in your same career but changed bosses or places of employment? What are the pros and cons of those options? The act of writing your thoughts will help you generate even better thoughts.
3. If your written musings convince you to at least consider a new career, scan the lists of careers in the Occupational Outlook Handbook, my book, Cool Careers for Dummies, or at least my quick takes on 37 popular careers http://www.usnews.com/usnews/biztech/articles/060105/5bestcareers.htm
4. Write the pros and cons of two or more careers that intrigue you. Don’t have enough information about the career to do that? Google that career or find a book about it on amazon.com. Among Amazon’s three million titles, you’re almost sure to find at least one insider’s book-length look at a career. Talk to a few people in the career.
5. Over the next days, reread and expand on your notes. Or perhaps jot down some things that happened at work, good and bad.
6. Now reread everything you’ve written one more time and write one or two goals you’d like to pursue: whether it’s change your career, your attitude, your boss, your skill set, whatever.
7. Make a to-do list of the baby steps you need to take to accomplish the goals you set in step 6, for example, your first step might be to ask employers who provides the best training.
8. Every day, rate yourself on your progress toward your goals. Perhaps do it in chart form, so you can see your trend. If you’re not making much progress, consider joining or starting a support group. (See http://www.job-hunt.org/job-search-networking/job-search-networking.shtml.)
Here’s how you might self-coach if you want to advance in your current career, in your current place of employment.
1. Answer this question, in writing: In what ways are you qualified and not qualified for the job to which you’d like to be promoted?
2. Write the things you need to do to make yourself eminently promotable: Build on your strengths? Remediate your weaknesses? Readjust your current job description to hide your weaknesses? Suck up to certain people?
3. Create a to-do list based on #2.
4. Every night, after work, rate yourself based on how much progress you’ve made on your to-do list.
Now, take the money you would have spent on a coach and treat yourself to something.
Next week, I’ll teach you another alternative to hiring a counselor or coach: co-coaching, in which you and a friend or colleague agree to coach each other.
http://www.martynemko.com/articles/self-coaching_id1261
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Making the Most of a Career Counselor or Coach
You’ve chosen a career counselor or coach. How do you make the most of the sessions?
1. When you set your appointment, ask if there’s some homework you could do in advance of the session.
2. Ask if you can tape record the session. You’ll find that you’ll get more out of listening to the tape than from the session itself. That’s because, at home, you have more time to reflect on the question, you’re not trying to impress the counselor with your answers, something that’s almost unavoidable, especially in a first session, and you can play the tape for another person, who might offer a useful perspective.
3. Be concise, even in answering open-ended questions such as, “Tell me about yourself.” Practice the traffic light rule. During the first 30 seconds of an utterance, your light is green. Your counselor is paying attention and what you say is probably important. During the second 30 seconds of an utterance, your light is yellow. Your counselor is increasingly likely to be getting bored, and what you say is less likely to be important. At the 60-second mark, your light is red. Yes, there are occasional times you’ll want to run a red light, but you’re generally wise to stop or ask a question.
4. Open up. As mentioned above, it’s natural to want to come off as smart and together. But if in fact, you don’t understand something that’s said, or you’re really a basket case, tell your counselor or coach. Otherwise, he’ll proceed on false assumptions, which will set you up for failure. For example, if he assigns you a homework assignment, and in your heart of hearts, you know you’ll procrastinate it, by all means, say so. The counselor will change the assignment or better help prepare you for that assignment. For example, if a counselor asked you to make 20 cold calls to prospective employers and that terrifies you, say so. He’ll role play with you, perhaps even write a script for you, or urge you to practice first with a trusted friend. But if you simply nod and accept the assignment, you’ll likely not do the homework and return to the next session with your tail between your legs, or worse, cancel the session, and stay stuck.
5. Be open to the coach’s or counselor’s ideas. Many clients merely want their apriori beliefs supported. But chances are, if you picked a counselor you like and who specializes in your situation, her views are worth serious consideration. Of course, don’t don’t be afraid to raise a concern about a suggestion, if you truly have doubts about it.
6. End the session by summarizing what you got out of the session and then asking the counselor/coach if you missed anything.
7. Ask for concrete homework.
8. Before starting the homework, listen to the tape, perhaps with someone you trust. Take notes. Perhaps revise the homework based on what your heard. After all, this isn’t like school, where you have to do what the teacher says. You’re in charge here. But then do that homework.
9. If after listening to the tape, you’re unhappy with the counselor/coach’s work decide whether you think offering feedback will likely result in a good-enough second session, or whether you should cancel and find another counselor/coach. Remember, if you google “career coach” or “career counselor,” you’ll find hundreds of career pros’ websites. And, you can always do self-coachingor co-coaching. (See my articles on those two options.)
http://www.martynemko.com/articles/making-most-career-counselor-or-coach_id1507
1. When you set your appointment, ask if there’s some homework you could do in advance of the session.
2. Ask if you can tape record the session. You’ll find that you’ll get more out of listening to the tape than from the session itself. That’s because, at home, you have more time to reflect on the question, you’re not trying to impress the counselor with your answers, something that’s almost unavoidable, especially in a first session, and you can play the tape for another person, who might offer a useful perspective.
3. Be concise, even in answering open-ended questions such as, “Tell me about yourself.” Practice the traffic light rule. During the first 30 seconds of an utterance, your light is green. Your counselor is paying attention and what you say is probably important. During the second 30 seconds of an utterance, your light is yellow. Your counselor is increasingly likely to be getting bored, and what you say is less likely to be important. At the 60-second mark, your light is red. Yes, there are occasional times you’ll want to run a red light, but you’re generally wise to stop or ask a question.
4. Open up. As mentioned above, it’s natural to want to come off as smart and together. But if in fact, you don’t understand something that’s said, or you’re really a basket case, tell your counselor or coach. Otherwise, he’ll proceed on false assumptions, which will set you up for failure. For example, if he assigns you a homework assignment, and in your heart of hearts, you know you’ll procrastinate it, by all means, say so. The counselor will change the assignment or better help prepare you for that assignment. For example, if a counselor asked you to make 20 cold calls to prospective employers and that terrifies you, say so. He’ll role play with you, perhaps even write a script for you, or urge you to practice first with a trusted friend. But if you simply nod and accept the assignment, you’ll likely not do the homework and return to the next session with your tail between your legs, or worse, cancel the session, and stay stuck.
5. Be open to the coach’s or counselor’s ideas. Many clients merely want their apriori beliefs supported. But chances are, if you picked a counselor you like and who specializes in your situation, her views are worth serious consideration. Of course, don’t don’t be afraid to raise a concern about a suggestion, if you truly have doubts about it.
6. End the session by summarizing what you got out of the session and then asking the counselor/coach if you missed anything.
7. Ask for concrete homework.
8. Before starting the homework, listen to the tape, perhaps with someone you trust. Take notes. Perhaps revise the homework based on what your heard. After all, this isn’t like school, where you have to do what the teacher says. You’re in charge here. But then do that homework.
9. If after listening to the tape, you’re unhappy with the counselor/coach’s work decide whether you think offering feedback will likely result in a good-enough second session, or whether you should cancel and find another counselor/coach. Remember, if you google “career coach” or “career counselor,” you’ll find hundreds of career pros’ websites. And, you can always do self-coachingor co-coaching. (See my articles on those two options.)
http://www.martynemko.com/articles/making-most-career-counselor-or-coach_id1507
Conquer Your Fear of Rejection
You're afraid you'll get rejected: you'll sound stupid, you'll seem like a loser; you'll pay a big price for asking.
So you decide it's better not to ask: Better to keep that yucky job than to ask for a better one. Better to accept that unfairly low salary than risk getting a "no." Better to be alone on Saturday night than to ask him or her out.
True, sometimes fear of rejection is a valid warning sign that you shouldn't ask. For example, if you're barely worth what your boss is paying you now, your boss might fire you for asking for a raise. Or if you're looking for a job and know you're not fully qualified for your target position, you probably would screw up the job, even if you did get hired.
But sometimes you know you would be wise to ask, yet your fear of rejection renders you inert. Below are a dozen tips for getting what you want in your career and your life instead of taking only what comes to you. One or more of these strategies may help you get ahead.
Take control of your future
1. Remember that you suffer more from not asking. You can survive a rejection, even 20 rejections. But if you consistently don't ask, you'll get only what life hands you. And in a world in which most people go after what they want, you'll be stuck with the leftovers. Now that's something to be scared of.
2. Picture the benefits. How would your life be better if you asked and got what you wanted? Keep a tangible list or picture of those benefits in front of you for motivation.
3. Learn from rejection. I got turned down by many women before one deigned say yes. My first book was passed over by 18 publishers before one said okay. After each rejection, I tried to get feedback to improve my pitch; thus my odds of success improved with every rejection.
4. Don't punish yourself. Even deeply flawed people deserve a good life. Ask for what you want, if not for yourself, for those who will benefit from your better life. And if depression is holding you back, get help.
5. Set small daily goals. Good things happen to those who act. Set a goal for yourself, for example, that you'll get three rejections a day. You'll find that the pursuit of rejections reduces their pain, and along the way, you'll likely get yeses.
6. Ask what would your wiser twin tell you to do. Let's say you think, "I'm still healing from my husband having left." Your wiser twin might respond, "You know you're just making excuses. Your husband is history, so let's go make a fresh start."
7. Remind yourself of a time you were successful. That may give you the confidence to try again.
8. Pretend you're an actor. Write a script for your pitch, but don't memorize it -- you'll sound scripted. Just write a few key words to remind you of your pitch's essence. Then practice it aloud into a mirror, cassette recorder, or with a friend.
9. Tell your loved ones you're going to ask. You'll feel more accountable and less inclined to back out.
10. Schedule a time to ask. Put it in your datebook or PDA.
11. Be in the moment. Just focus on pitching well. Don't worry about whether it will work -- you can't control that. Remember that one yes negates many nos. Over your lifetime, you'll get many more yeses and thus have a better life than the millions of sheep who were too afraid to ask.
12. Now force yourself. Feel the fear, take few deep breaths and ask anyway. If the person says no, ask someone else. If he says no, ask yet another person. Moderate persistence is key to having the life you want instead of the life that fell into your lap.
Marty Nemko is a career coach and author of Cool Careers for Dummies.
http://www.martynemko.com/articles/conquer-your-fear-rejection_id1538
Seven Ways to Make Your Job More Fun
Let’s face it: Many employers’ efforts to inject fun into the workplace are feeble: Serve birthday cake? Allow workers to throw Frisbees? Keep the break room fridge stocked with soda? Gimme a break.
While the following ideas may not turn your workplace into a barrel of laughs, they’re more likely than the company picnic to make your worklife more pleasant.
Telecommute: Sometimes, an answer is to just get the hell out of there. Would you enjoy playing tennis with friends during the day? Rolling on the floor with Fido? Watching daytime soaps or CNBC’s stock ticker? Yet could still manage to get your work done? Pitch your boss on telecommuting and if he resists, offer to go on a short leash; for example, agree to submit twice-a-day work progress reports. Tip: If you’d enjoy working in the buff, do not agree to a WebCam leash.
Propose a special project: Examples: Love to travel? Propose doing a feasibility study on opening a branch in Hawaii. (Site visits essential, of course.) Love to talk with people? Offer to create a collection of how-to-succeed-at-work tips and tricks derived from interviewing employees in the company and maybe even at your competitors.
Become the House Mentor: Let it be known that you enjoy mentoring people. You’ll likely find yourself with at least one or two people who’d appreciate having someone with whom to hash out work problems. You might even end up cross-mentoring.
Tweak your job description. Do you like some aspects of your job and hate others? See if you can trade tasks with a co-worker. Your drudgery might be another’s relaxation; your weakness, another’s métier. For example, I know a lawyer who loved holding forth in a courtroom but couldn’t stand the detailed research work. He found another lawyer in the firm who felt the opposite, whereupon they agreed that, where possible, they’d trade work.
Make your workspace feel more like home. Want to put an oriental rug under your desk? Your favorite small painting on your cube wall? An aromatherapy zen fountain on your desk? All accompanied by your favorite soft music? And to make your workplace even more like home, might your boss allow you to bring in a fish tank, hamster, or even the aforementioned Fido? (Leave the fleas home.)
Use at-your-desk stress busters. Just a minute of slow, deep breaths, or tightening and loosening sets of muscles from neck to feet can reenergize you. Or try a five-minute at-your-desk yoga session: www.yogajournal.com/newtoyoga/751_1.cfm.
Make a close friend. Find someone--ideally your boss--with whom you can become close. That can take the edge off work stresses. Ask your potential bud out to lunch and talk about things more intimate than the ballgame score--everyone has important hopes, dreams, and fears. Unearth those and share your own, and you’re halfway to developing the sort of intimate relationship that can soften the edges of even the hardest workplace.
Does work still suck? Maybe it’s time to look for a better job? For advice on how to best do that see www.martynemko.com.
The San Francisco Bay Guardian named Marty Nemko “The Bay Area’s Best Career Coach.” His book, Cool Careers for Dummies (brand new 3rd edition) was rated, in a Readers Choice Poll, the #1 most useful career guide. He is Contributing Editor for Careers at U.S. News & World Report. 500+ of his published articles are free at www.martynemko.com.
http://www.martynemko.com/articles/seven-ways-make-your-job-more-fun_id1535
A Very Short, Very Advanced "Course" in Time Management
Here are the keys to getting more done in less time.
1. Embrace work. If you recognize that the more you accomplish, the better you’ll feel about yourself and your life, you’ll get more done.
2. Write a personal mission statement. Example: “I want to be a beloved manager while allowing time for my kids and my hobby: acting.” When in doubt about what tasks to prioritize, your mission statement can often help you decide.
3. Be time conscious, aware that time is your most valuable commodity. That is the key to time management. So, always be asking yourself, “Is this time-effective?” Sub-questions:
§ Should I do this task, delegate it, or say no?
§ If I’m going to do it, should I do it full-bore or, in this case, is good enough good enough?
§ If I’m not sure of the most time-effective way to do a task, whom should I ask?
3a. Hire a personal assistant. I believe that every non-poor person should hire one, even if just for a few hours a week. That person could do things like errands, housecleaning, whatever you don’t like but someone else could do reasonably well without your having to spend too much time on training. The extra hours you’ll free-up far exceed the cost of your assistant.
3b. Beware of meetings. Meetings are among the biggest time wasters. If you’re in a position to decide whether to convene one, think three times before scheduling one, let alone a standing one. If you decide you really need a meeting, invite only the people who really need to be there. Don’t just invite people “to be inclusive.” The time-suck usually greatly outweighs the benefit. Then, send a tight agenda and any material for review in advance. Before making an off-site person get into a car let alone on a plane to attend a meeting, consider a teleconference or webconference. Software such as WebEx (webex.com) makes webconferencing very easy. If you’re asked to attend a meeting, especially a standing meeting, realize that it may not be because you’re needed but because today’s corporate-think says, “Be inclusive.” If you’d rather not be included, ask your boss if you could opt out, for example, by saying, “I believe I could make better use of the time if I did X.” Your boss may say no but there’s usually no harm in asking. That’s an example of another key to time management: Ask for what you want.
3c. (Optional) Keep a Time Log. If you’re not sure you’re time-effective, for at least a day, keep a memo pad with you and every time you change tasks, write the time and what you’re starting to do. At the end of the day, review your time log. Not sure if you have been time-effective? Show your log and key work products to someone who gets a lot done.
A time-effective summary of this article: Throughout the day, ask yourself,” Is this time-efficient, and where possible, consistent with my personal mission statement?”
A super time-effective summary: Be conscious about time.
Anyone wish this course were longer?
http://www.martynemko.com/articles/very-short-very-advanced-quotcoursequot-in-time-management_id1518
1. Embrace work. If you recognize that the more you accomplish, the better you’ll feel about yourself and your life, you’ll get more done.
2. Write a personal mission statement. Example: “I want to be a beloved manager while allowing time for my kids and my hobby: acting.” When in doubt about what tasks to prioritize, your mission statement can often help you decide.
3. Be time conscious, aware that time is your most valuable commodity. That is the key to time management. So, always be asking yourself, “Is this time-effective?” Sub-questions:
§ Should I do this task, delegate it, or say no?
§ If I’m going to do it, should I do it full-bore or, in this case, is good enough good enough?
§ If I’m not sure of the most time-effective way to do a task, whom should I ask?
3a. Hire a personal assistant. I believe that every non-poor person should hire one, even if just for a few hours a week. That person could do things like errands, housecleaning, whatever you don’t like but someone else could do reasonably well without your having to spend too much time on training. The extra hours you’ll free-up far exceed the cost of your assistant.
3b. Beware of meetings. Meetings are among the biggest time wasters. If you’re in a position to decide whether to convene one, think three times before scheduling one, let alone a standing one. If you decide you really need a meeting, invite only the people who really need to be there. Don’t just invite people “to be inclusive.” The time-suck usually greatly outweighs the benefit. Then, send a tight agenda and any material for review in advance. Before making an off-site person get into a car let alone on a plane to attend a meeting, consider a teleconference or webconference. Software such as WebEx (webex.com) makes webconferencing very easy. If you’re asked to attend a meeting, especially a standing meeting, realize that it may not be because you’re needed but because today’s corporate-think says, “Be inclusive.” If you’d rather not be included, ask your boss if you could opt out, for example, by saying, “I believe I could make better use of the time if I did X.” Your boss may say no but there’s usually no harm in asking. That’s an example of another key to time management: Ask for what you want.
3c. (Optional) Keep a Time Log. If you’re not sure you’re time-effective, for at least a day, keep a memo pad with you and every time you change tasks, write the time and what you’re starting to do. At the end of the day, review your time log. Not sure if you have been time-effective? Show your log and key work products to someone who gets a lot done.
A time-effective summary of this article: Throughout the day, ask yourself,” Is this time-efficient, and where possible, consistent with my personal mission statement?”
A super time-effective summary: Be conscious about time.
Anyone wish this course were longer?
http://www.martynemko.com/articles/very-short-very-advanced-quotcoursequot-in-time-management_id1518
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